I remember walking into work one day (back at AmEx) and saying to my co-workers/friends "Being a mom is doing wonders to my self-esteem!" Every morning that I dropped my kids off at daycare my daughter would burst into tears as soon as she was released from my arms. (They always reassured me that she stopped crying!- Did that EVER make me feel better?) But the rest of the drive to work was a long, prayerful, mostly tearful one. Every time I drive past that daycare I remember those sorrowful drives. Suffice it to say, these days are much better than those. But watching my kids cry has never gotten any easier. I have just concluded that I am the biggest push-over mom in the world. All my kids have to do is whine a little and I give in to almost anything. Some days I am just too tired to fight. Then there are the days where I feel like nothing but daggers are shooting out my awnry hot head. Lets take yesterday for example... I try not to micro-manage my kids. Exhibit A: If I put food in front of my kids, they've got 30 minutes to eat it and then I clean it up. If they're slow-going, I send out a few warnings, but thats all. So after the warnings went out yesterday, my daughter proceeds to play with her candy necklace, which results in tiny pieces falling all over the floor, to which she scrambles to clean them up as we push away the dog, all the while the clock is yelling we're gonna be late for pre-school, and my sanity slows melts out my ears! (So now we're late to pre-school)... I hastely help pick up candy, referee the dog, pick up my daughter, rush out the garage door (still hastely), and we both go crashing down the stairs onto the grease-stained floor. Tempers now completely flared... I pick up said daughter, (ego bruised, child-abused, feelings-ignored...) throw her in the car and drive like a banshee out of dodge to said pre-school. All the while feeling sick to my stomach (but tempers still flared!), as I watch my daughter crawl out of the car, drag herself up to the school, tears streaming down her face, and consider the inevitable phone call from her school teacher demanding I explain myself. Said phone call never happened. But my stomach was still sick about it all day. In all the irony, her teacher actually did call, but only to set up a year review for Keala. I did ask her however, how Keala was that morning, and she said she cried for a moment saying she hurt herself (enter mom-guilt), and then she was fine. It doesn't matter how many loads of laundry I do, or dishes washed, or floors vacuumed and swept, or toys cleaned up, or bathrooms sanitized, or projects finished (all of which I did yesterday to make myself feel better). I still don't feel better. After 6 years of being a mom, I still can't handle seeing them cry. One good thing is that Keala apologized as soon as she got back into the car for knowing she disobeyed me. But how do I apologize for her ego-bruised, child-abused, feelings-ignored, tear-stained walk into preschool? Hello! Worst mom of the year award, presented to...
This weekend we took everyone up to Bear Lake for a little R&R and small family get-away. We stayed at this Bear Lake Resort Condo for Friday and Saturday night. We stopped in Logan and picked up Kasey and Tyler, (her boyfriend) at school. We wanted to do something special with Tyler as a fun memory before he leaves on his mission in a few months (and we ALL miss him!)
After eating at a local pizza place in town Friday night, we relaxed in front of the tv and got ready for some serious sledding Satuday morning. Although the teenagers did stay up late going out to the hottub. This is what Kai and Keala looked like the next morning - all ready to go!
It was snowing when we got there, and a bit of a hike to the top of the hill that alot of other people were sledding down. We all went down once and took a break after being whitewashed with powder. It was freezing cold! After Keala and I finally got to the bottom she just stood up and cried! A nearby snowmobile took pity on us and carried us back up to the top.
Keala didn't like sledding after the first round. The snow was so soft that we were all plastered in the face with snow the whole way down. Keala prefered to stay with those who rested and watched the others. (That would be Austin!) But Keala stayed happy and I was grateful for that.
Keala's gloves got cold and wet fast so I had to relinquish mine to her (as modeled here!) I was warm enough from all the hiking back up the hill over and over that I made due without them.
Brent was the toughest of all of us. I think he went down more than anyone (except Kai) and hiked up the hill more than anyone. Austin on the other hand went down the least of anyone, except Keala, which suprised me because he didn't like the shower of snow powder either, let alone the hiking back up. He and Keala kept each other company while the rest of us tubed.
Kai, on the other hand learned the trick of the trade. He shmoozed a ride off these 4-wheelers and snowmobilers who helped all the sledders get back up the hill. He's so awesome!
I couldn't believe these guys gave Kai so many rides. But they did it for all the sledders, and they did it all day! Kai had no problem waiting for a ride - forget the hike - that was for losers!
I have to admit, I got quite a few rides too. After the other sledders got on, I hung my legs on the back. It was just as much fun riding up with these guys as it was sledding down.
Kai might not have lasted as long as he did without these tows back up the hill. We were there for a couple hours. Keala and Austin watched most the time, Kasey, Tyler, and Brent hiked back up most the time. And Kai and I shmoozed a ride most the time. (Hey, I have no pride!)
Kai was so funny to watch all afternoon, and such a trooper. He just stuck with this little yellow sled I had for the kids and had a rockin' time. We finally got Keala to go down a few more times at the end as long as we went slow enough so the powder didn't spray her face.
I know Kai wiped out a ton, but he loved every second of it. The rest of us were getting fed up pretty easy being white-washed with snow so much. And we even had sunglasses. But Kai just kept going and going like the energizer bunny that he is! He amazes me sometimes!
We had 3 tubes between the rest of us, and it was plenty because we were taking so many breaks from the frostbite on our faces after sliding down. Half way down you couldn't see anymore because of the whitewash so it got a little scary... but was still thrilling!
We laughed and laughed as we watched each other wipe out or go down screaming and shrieking. I finally convinced Brent to catch a ride once with me and Kai on the sled of the snowmobile, but his weight made the snow mobile stall. That just made us all laugh harder.
Our condo was nice and cozy after a long day out in the cold. We all enjoyed the soothing hot tub, while the boys enjoyed the sauna. Yes, the hot tub was outside, but my kids loved running through the snow and then jumping back in the warm water. They're maniacs I tell ya!
Our condo slept the 8 of us comfortably. Brent and I had a room with our own twin beds, while Kasey stayed here in the living room, and the other kids stayed up in the loft on the bunk beds.
Everyone slept really well although the beds were extremely hard. Except Kai and Keala woke up early the first morning and started singing "Cock-a-doodle-doo". It was funny but Brent hurried and brought them down to watch tv with us to let the teenagers sleep a few more hours.
Brent found the condo at only $30 a night. It was such a great deal he kept reminding me over and over of how great he was! You're awesome baby, good job! Ha ha ha!
Out our window we had the most gorgeous view of Bear Lake. It was seriously like a picture out of a postcard. We had so much stinkin' fun, and it was great for Tyler to come along with us!
We cooked most our meals in the kitchen and lounged around watching tv or playing out in the hot tub. Such a nice weekend for relaxing and having fun! I totally want to go up there again!
